I went to see the doctor earlier this month. Something was really wrong with my ears.

The doctor told me that I had nervous tinnitus and I was deaf. Then he added a pair of parentheses after the word “deaf”, and wrote “high frequency”.

Fortunately, I am not 100% deaf yet. It just took away 1/3 of my hearing ability.


This was the very first time I tasted the fear and bitterness of aging. I naively thought my life had just begun, but I was wrong again. Of 900 months of my lifetime, I have used 305, which is 1/3.

It’s virtually overnight that I find I am one of the oldest among the people around me.

For example,

  • “Jack”, 17, just entered one of the best universities. He’s very smart, has a rich family. Everything is so bright and hopeful.
  • “Michael”, 21, has just graduated from the university. He joined one of the high-ranking Fortune Global 500. He’s a pro in PHP, and is developing apps that serve a billion of people.

They’re elites, but most importantly, they’re so young!

I still remember what I was doing at their ages. Nothing but sleeping, daydreaming, gaming and hanging around aimlessly.

What about now?

What am I supposed to do to catch up with them?


This year is much busier and much more tiresome than before.

Sometimes things fail to reach expectation, because of too much uncertainties.

Designing an iOS app.

Designing an iOS app.

I start to design iOS apps with some schoolfellows, which is a totally new area for me. About these side project, I can’t give any details yet.

There’s another thing I have learned from the experience of the past 5 months…

Design and code could get me a job, but they won’t make me rich.

At least, I am still studying and working on new things.