I went to see the doctor earlier this month. Something was really wrong with my ears.
The doctor told me that I had nervous tinnitus and I was deaf. Then he added a pair of parentheses after the word “deaf”, and wrote “high frequency”.
Fortunately, I am not 100% deaf yet. It just took away 1/3 of my hearing ability.
This was the very first time I tasted the fear and bitterness of aging. I naively thought my life had just begun, but I was wrong again. Of 900 months of my lifetime, I have used 305, which is 1/3.
It’s virtually overnight that I find I am one of the oldest among the people around me.
- “Jack”, 17, just entered one of the best universities. He’s very smart, has a rich family. Everything is so bright and hopeful.
- “Michael”, 21, has just graduated from the university. He joined one of the high-ranking Fortune Global 500. He’s a pro in PHP, and is developing apps that serve a billion of people.
They’re elites, but most importantly, they’re so young!
I still remember what I was doing at their ages. Nothing but sleeping, daydreaming, gaming and hanging around aimlessly.
What about now?
What am I supposed to do to catch up with them?
This year is much busier and much more tiresome than before.
Sometimes things fail to reach expectation, because of too much uncertainties.
I start to design iOS apps with some schoolfellows, which is a totally new area for me. About these side project, I can’t give any details yet.
There’s another thing I have learned from the experience of the past 5 months…
Design and code could get me a job, but they won’t make me rich.
At least, I am still studying and working on new things.